Musical but unsuccessful.....

music specially carnatic music which i jus love to hear n tap my feet on its rhythm.I jus forget the world of total discrepancies n feel heavenly.lovely the feeling i gain learnin the synonym of the versus beautifully decorated wid the basic 7 swaras.wow! I nod my head to express my joy when i hear the wonderful blessed singers singin or when their records are played.during my age of 8 i stepped into the music class.I shivered at the sight of my teacher.though she was very well dressed in her cotton saree wid traditional kajra,bindi n other lady stuffs,children jus feared her,wid respect.She gave a word n v had no other option than obeying her.But her orders n her lessons gave all we students to make a good foundation in music.The foundation still lays strong n stiff.I continued my learning under her tutelage Ms.Prabha Rao for almost 5 years.superb was her comment on me by my teacher.HEHE i was so proud to have my neck stiff n high in the sky though i was jus 4feet n as graduated in completing my initial geethams.hehehe.
Once it so happened my teacher called my mom,n requested her to tutor me with all teh varnams so dat i get promoted to teh keertanams batch.My mom in high spirits taught me all n I was done wid all the varnams.My sis was also learning music under my teacher though she was junior to me,she grabbed much knowledge.Eventually due to some reasons we had to put to full stop to our music classes.I had stepped into my 9th std.n the world commented i need to focus on studies n push aside my musiacl pranks.Thus,i had to uninterestedly quit my learning.I weeped like a kid,i sobbed to my mom,as if i lost my life,I felt am hopeless n drenched myself in the silent world to express my emotions.heheh.but nothing helped me.destiny u kno,cannot b changed no matter which lane u choose.Its only upto the Bramha to decide my path.But my sis somehow was lucky to get the training under Ms.Shanta Raman.I also went for few days to her.Yep!i learnt under her for some time then only quit singing classes completely.
I still remember I was called by teh new teacher at 4pm on a saturday,I rung the bell sharp at 4pm the new teacher was taking a class.once she saw my punctuality she was taken aback.She praised me n my teacher Prabha Rao.I later got to kno Ms.Shanta also had her trainin under my previous tutor.I was asked to sing 1 song,n i proved the same wid my Hamsadwani raga based Vinayaka.I was praised wow! i felt myself to be some gr8 singer.heheh.
my gamakas were chked by my teacher n appreciated.my tala everything were accoladed wid words.The training under her from then continued.now my sis n myself learnt together under her.we became her pets.U kno,we were the respected singers of her class.
we sometimes gave our innovations n creativity in the sangadhis,n they were also installed in the songs.my teacher jus loved our applications.As stated earlier the barrier came,10th std n i completely stopped.my sis however continued,n she became a little star of Dombivli,prizes jus poured in for her,the awards jus flowed in,n names were floating on the tongues of almost all musical parents.She bagged accolades from eminent singers like Nityasree,Gayathri Girish,n many others.She was awarded best singer n special prize was conferred 2 her.Obviously she had become the star for our family.Our family members also considered her accolades n always made her sing in all occassions n festivals.A tinge jealousines always grew in me,for the praises she grabbed.Not bcoz she earned praises,only becoz my musical knowledge wasnt acknowledged by anyone.I still have no regrets that she learnt more than me,raher feeling proud to find my sis to receive awards n stuffs.
But one thing which i detested was,when people tried to prove dat i knew nothin.Say when i announced dat i learnt a song,ppl said oh he has started.Guess only the awards speak n make one popular or one good at one thing is it.even the nill duffers in music who jus nod their heads on rhythm,lemme say my very own uncle is like Oh! its u...a disgust was well established in his face when he commented.This jus gave me a irritation.
all said n done,I still enjoy music whether for teh world am knowledgable in music or not.I jus enjoy n give a damn to people.I sing aloud in my aloofness enjoy my own singing.sing in bathrooms to hear bac my echo.heheh/I attend all kutcheris possible.i stock as many cds n mp3s of carnatic music.i jus enjoy.and am still enjoying.I am proud of myself to recognize certain ragas when the tune is played n pat myself for the achievement of the same.I feel am blessed to have some installation of music in me.Though my journey of learnin in music was unsuccessful my taste n liking towards the same is never gonna subtract.
carnatic music jus takes u to a heavenly world.